Sisters then and now*family

Ok this took way too long ;~)

My sisters and I went away to florida all alone this year (except for niece Kellie)  We had our first "spring break" in 1987! I was 29!  Celebrating my 20's!! like it was a big land mark!  Our families, hell our lives were in such different states! Being the youngest of the three; eight years to the middle and 14 to the oldest!  

We have done this together for 12 years...then our mother died and the drugs took over the life of the middle sister...10 years later we went again.  We honestly spoke very very little these past 10 years.  But when we got the beach ....well it was like we had never lost those 10 years.  That is what sisters are all about to me.

Heard stories from their childhoods that I had never never heard before. And we all three had such different memories. Mine were the best I think LOL

Tomorrow our mother will have been dead for 10 years. TOTALLY AMAZING. We each miss her so much and we still speak fairly gently of her.  and While I really want to do a blog on her tomorrow~ well it had to start here with the all the family of origin I have left and they are both dear to me. Their families have woven into my heart, some closer than others but all a part of the fabric of me.

This year was special and we are so glad we did get to share those 6 days.  In the first 7 hours I realized how much older my sisters are than i remembered them.  More fragile, more vulnerable, more real and human - sort of like my mom, I didnt think they would ever be older.

Life just keeps ticking; like Dave Matthews newest song, "funny how it is"...daily life wears  on us and we dont even realize it erodes who we thought we were becoming ...

I need to get something off my chest..

Yesterday...i read a blog on my yoga site that just got me to thinking...lots of people blog about how they were raised in a mediocre Catholic home...and then how pain comes into their lives and they blame God and leave their Church and their faith.

Wonder if they blamed God for the good in their life as well?

My story is opposite.

Raised in little to no faith home, found the Catholic Church in High School and years later when our boys asked us why we didnt go to Church that is the ONLY one I would go to...we have raised 4 children in the Catholic faith and I can not imagine my  life with out Christ...

BacK later to detail...gotta hit the shower

Shewww! Found my Blog and Blog friends!

This morning I am pleased to find the blog! LOL.  Listening to the beautiful chanting of the Benedictine Monks and THRILLED its Friday! Tomorrow afternoon my sisters and I leave for the beach.  First time all together on the beach in 10 years!  We use to go every year together but drug addiction kept the middle one from coming the last 10.  Still not sure she is "clean" but she is at least managed.  The oldest is super freaked about life in general ;~) and pissed off at everyone. They all smoke so it should be F*U*N!

Looking to get my faith back on. (Like getting  my drink on ya know LOL)

Tomorrow I will go to confession early and maybe a saturday mass if I can get packed before bed tonight.  I miss the connection with Christ.  Some people that I love dearly really let me down with lies. First my daughter and those around her and it has taken me almost a year to relax with her back home.  Those adults that I trusted with her for  guidance and formation simply manipulated and enabled her... My faith crumbled with those relationships when Christ had nothing to do with it.  My depression of the past 10 years grew in severity and I was guilty as well but not Christ.  

There was a book written by a priest that suffered from depression and the darkness it brought into his life. How he struggled to find his way into light of life again. Now having been on anti-depressants for 10 months I can see how depressed I was but I wonder will I have to be on these for ever? Occassionaly the shadows have crept in ... and it takes strength not to fall into old patterns... 

well life is good

Wow I got a new lap top in Feb~March and I had lost my log in stuff.  The fur friend really likes to use the old one as a heated bed! She is the greatest cat!  and shew...finally Re learned how to get here  LOL silly huh?

Thrilled to be able to keep up with an inspirational hiker now! oh it makes me so happy  to have found this spot again.

I will be back later today..so much to share