a suggestion from a friend

I was with a group of wonderful ladies last night and told a couple of hiking adventures that my husband and I have had. In talking about our trips out my heart races, and thumps because I love it out there with him. Those backpacking trips have done wonders for our relationship and our marriage. It was suggested that I write about trails for married couples. that was very stimulating and exciting! Course i came home and shared that with him and he immediately says something about getting out there again. He can kill a moment with his lack of humor but we fixed it before it got too bad.

So ideas have been swarming around, maybe there is a book for beginning writers that is easy to find .... maybe i should just start with an out line? hmmm so I decided to just blog it and let it morph right here Time will have to be found, and a how to book may still be an excellent idea.

hiking and life/marriage are so very similar. The trails make physically and visually clear what relationships with people and our own lives is like. Lets start with a dry heart and soul ~ my own after 29 years of marriage, mothering, surrendering my own desires to just make things flow nicely for the family. I was not worth fighting over. Then looking down my own path and seeing that 50 birthday approaching denial was no longer possible...before i die i want to live, love, and laugh.

The amazing adventure of unhappiness began with several self help books and wierd stores ( why do I always think the wierd might have the answers LOL) new age stores, a few of their ideas but really didnt like em but man when I read that hiking tale...now that started my care for myself ideas. Obviously looking around my world, marriage had not made me happy, it had made me very lonesome and depressed. My kids had turned on me, my as healthy young adults do but I had thought mine would be different. My faith had left mostly a dribble of hope in my heart and a zillion + 2 questions! And i no longer had a clue who i was, who i had wanted to be, but i KNEW that i was going to take care to find me no matter what. even if it meant tearing things apart....so it began

paradox of life.

No man should go through life without once experiencing healthy, even bored solitude in the wilderness, finding himself depending solely on himself and thereby learning his true and hidden strength.-Jack Kerouac
i think i may have to look this fellow up...discovery quotes on google led me to this quote.
here i sit at 51 at a job that really doesnt interest me so that i can pay the bills. i really feel a calling to write, read, discover. perhaps share ideas that will help others think...but i have also discovered in my mid adult life that every one really thinks they know it all and are not completely open to other ideas.

but as soon as i pull up to the parking lot of fellow trail lovers my heart races with excitement. putting on that backpack and knowing that every thing i will need for the 24 to 48 hours better be in it! seems to make the cosmos in my head line up perfectly LOL!

when my husband and i are out there together there is a simple joy of life and love, nothing in the world exists but us and the trail and we truly walk it together. strength, encouragement, adoration for life as we see it, health, time all are well defined and felt. we are in for moments like this NOW...plan a trip, and look for a job that i truly feel alive in...

a person...lost

I would love to be able to sit and just meditate on who I am...what my talents are. The Movement did give me a great deal of identity and confidence in at least them. As I go to work today I am going to look for signs of who i am...back later