Wow I got a new lap top in Feb~March and I had lost my log in stuff.  The fur friend really likes to use the old one as a heated bed! She is the greatest cat!  and shew...finally Re learned how to get here  LOL silly huh?

Thrilled to be able to keep up with an inspirational hiker now! oh it makes me so happy  to have found this spot again.

I will be back later today..so much to share

Ahh this craziness will not capture me :~)

Consider seriously how quickly people change, and how little trust is to be had in them. So

hold fast to God, Who does not change. — St. Teresa of Avila

Found this sweet little quote this morning after looking for reassurance that life will survive this presidential administration.

This week my oldest daughter shared  a  english paper she had to write, "a single event that changed your life for ever"  Hers was of course on her total rebellion to fly off to Italy at the age of 18! and it was very touching to hear in her own words what she was trying to capture that year (we had set soo many high expectations of her and she had lied to make us think she was striving for them as well) But the best part was where she wrote that after 5 months there the dream, the fantasy had faded to reality.  All she ever really needed was here.   Mind you it was a light of maturity shining thru some harsh words and disappointments on both sides...but I think she might eventually truely understand the pain.

That said- I thought what a beautiful opportunity to write on such an event* So today as I wander thru my very boring job and wonder what my real grown up job will be...I will ponder this * Because at 51 years old I have more than one! But the most recent would have to be my life changing event of H*I*K*I*N*G

Gotta hit the showers now! later

well i figured this much!

well I got this far with posting a scrap book..listening to John Prine and really enjoying it and all the music off my Robert Earl keene Pandora radio!  man if all these things were available when i was a teen-young adult i never ever would be the person i am today (good or bad)

also went on and humbled myself enough to ask for an appetite suppressant (very humiliating to me) SO tired of being 45 pounds over weight and tired of being too tired--second day using them and they work! and they are NOT like speed.  Just help me control my appetite.

House work is hell ya know and when you finally surrender to the chore it does smell and look so good you wonder why you dreaded it for so long ;o) sorta like exercise, generally taking of yourself!  guess human nature just makes us lazy..

where did the days of my youth go?  where did my oldest children grow up?  Why was that soooo hard to do for me- My mother died 10 years ago this May-my oldest son graduated from high school 10 years ago man and my second son was being a teenager on the wilder side.  If I could have frozen time or just seperated events alittle.  Oh hell you cant---

Then began my most conservative period of my life...fear of everything took over and overprotection was my duty!  My own esteem crumbled to resemble broken porcelain left on the floor.  Marriage was growing into the most incredible burden/cross/lonesomeness I had never known...relationships with my 2nd son suffered the most...and then with my 3 child, our oldest daughter going in to middle school --> highschool. Me and my family were never gonna be holy and all were disappointing Christ.

Moving forward to our 28th year of marriage-some people came into our lives *thanks to our oldest sons felony charges!  AA meetings, Alanon, my own personal life coach, and a fellow worker  began to unravel the shroud i had placed over my life...

I also found a couple of books that really brought light into my eyes again- and they were hiking adventures... so the energy began to build and now...imagine how exciting the next 10 years are gonna be F*E*A*R*L*E*S*S