I do not like the president

president- I dont like him, he lies and manipulates with his words and I cant stand to listen to him.  Dare others to listen to Rush or to Glenn Beck...challenge the man with pretty words and beware of a PiedPiper 

trust...so fragile

Trust. Once chipped or totally broken it does great hurt.  Lies of a son or daughter hurt no less than the lies of a priest.  The lies of the president divide the country and even several family have gotten angered by opinion. Maybe I just dont know what to do when someone disagrees with me.

any rate as I separate myself from a movement that has been a part of my life for about 10+ years, and learn a new dimension of relationship with my adult children and my newly found place in my immediate family the trust issue came up boldly in my reflections.

It is hard not to harden my heart and protect it from outside pain.  It is hard to have this all mixed up in my head and heart with no one to really talk to that will agree with me.  

*i have to find christ again and I can do that with his mother* i will be back to ponder more.

 

"Life is a lie you ve got to rise above"

2009 was beginning to look so joyfilled - at least in my home.  Then the new president took office.

After a very nice meal and easy conversation we moved into the family room.  My new evening pass time is my computer :) for info, games, communication with outta state family.... and then the conversation turned to POLITICS.  The three of us kept on down this very dangerous road because we disagree.  When suddenly it turned passionate.  The two women in the room discussed it as women will, lots of yelling trying to talk over each other...at a

ny rate the younger one always out does her mother in drama (and debating which makes me yell louder) and she dramatically left.  My husband turns to me and says..."Why did you do that, why cant you just listen to her, You did that ..." So I assured in a very dramatic way as well that I really appreciated him talking to me that way and that I would never talk to hiim again'....

And that is how the last 48 hours has been.  Oh my daughter and I apologized and moved on but husband is still trying to punish me for the words I spoke with cold shoulder.  

I miss him.  We had just found a level in our relationship that we hadnt experienced in such a long time.  Quickly he showed me that the daughter was more important to him than I was, and how quickly everything we had worked for in the last 5 months can crumble in an instant. Damn.  Thank you daughter for coming over and stirring up a pot and then LEAVING.  was the last 5 months a lie? or is the present situation

Then we learned this week that a founding priest of a movement with in the Catholic Church led a "double life".  All lies... Now we cant talk about that because husband is still mad about the daughter event. 

So here I am, with my blog page and a mug filled with coffee- what is life about? that same question puzzles me most of my adult life.  Every time I think I am going to catch the answer, it fades just within finger grasp.

Writing was a passion of mine when I was lots younger, and I was seeking to polish it up when love tripped me and sent me down another path (well thats alie but it is too complicated).  reflecting on the other evening it becomes very clear that the desire to put into words the emotions that well up in my heart is too limited.  

* Real emotions over the choice of president- he is a socialist, a liberal, and inexperienced

To be able to convey that information to a daughter! to any one is risking that relationship.

*To put your trust in anyman other than Christ is going to be filled with lies.  But since Christ is nt truely able to sit in front of me and talk the trust of his Holy Spirit leading us is suppose to be in those we are closest to.

*Those that you love the most are the one most difficult to be close to.*

*Most of my life has been filled with lies and more certainly more questions that answers.  and why is that?  Why is your life filled with purposely misleading when all your looking for is the answer.

So am my lif now is it really to be spent with this cold shoulder and distant daughter, is my day to be consummed with suspicion and no relationship with those I love the most?  Why isnt life making sense to me.