Lunch, Memories...1974 to 2009 ...

Today was a reunion of sorts. She and I had gone to school together from 8th grade thru 10th grade. We had a lot of common friends and lived on two different sides of the railroad tracks. The last time we had seen each other was the summer after the 10th grade, 1974! Do you hear me! 34 years since we had seen each other and I knew her as soon as she came up to the door of the restaurant. Funny, I left so filled with youthful joy LOL, even after all this time what the peers were up to stirred my imagination.

A sad story, but one that made my heart ache was the confirmation of rumors that a young teen boy that I had really "loved" as any 17 year old heart can! Had stopped living because of depression, pain pills, addiction, self-pity. This young man had been very fit, had a gentle compassionate heart, love of nature, long thick beautiful hair and occasionally spoke of the pain in his back. No real desire to accomplish anything but fish, hunt, live off the land. Death of two of his friends and the pain of his arthritis had left him lifeless in a vacuum for the past 20 years. Unable to work, walk, overweight, bald. I almost wish I had never been told, but that is who he is now and I once "loved" him. I had "loved" him for two years. We had gotten me pregnant summer of my junior year. The night after it confirmed that I was 11 weeks pregnant I miscarried. This changed everything in my perception of me and my life. We barely hang on for a few months out of my own frustration that he wasn't growing into a "man" and I was unworthy of anything really good.

By graduation, 1976, I realized he was not interested in getting anywhere. I wanted to test my hand in college. Push out my boundaries of life. I broke up with him and left the next September. We didn't speak again till a couple of weeks before my wedding in 1978. He said something that made me mad. My memory can not recall what it was but I do remember that I thought he said it because he was jealous. One other time years after I had married we crossed paths one more time. I brought up the pregnancy and his bitter, angry accusations hurt badly and that was the last time we spoke.

Through the years I had heard he was not doing well at all. and now it is confirmed by his sister and that makes me mourn a youth that had so much simple joy in life.

Lunch today reminded me how easily i couldve gone another path LOL. And while sometimes I am way to hard on myself, my family, and my life...well today I was reminded that my life and my family R*O*C*K*S. thank you God!

challenge, growth, excitement... 3 days on the trail

Can you hear the woodland voices whispering to come experience the REAL world?

I spent most of the friday morning seeing that my guests were comfortable that I was leaving them for a couple of nites on the trail. Of course they were they are family and had more family here to visit. But that didnt stop my heart from being torn in attention. So as we drove off it occurred to me that we COULD go another day or another weekend! thankfully my husband didnt think like that.

The 3 days out north and south of Woody Gap ( Appalachian Trail ) was just what this 50+ needed to remind her self that she loves life, even with mosquitoes and the aches of a heavy pack, the OMG another climb! cause when its all done there is a beautiful view, a breath of real air.

This time as well I constantly reminded myself of a friend who started the thru hike in March...I have followed her in her blog and supported her in the joy that she is doing it!! I would ponder if she had seen this or that ... wondering if I could find out from her husband where she is and fly to a spot and catch up with her and hike a piece I have (likely never will) see.

All in All a glorious weekend and life here moved on none the wiser that we had left.

Friday friday dadadada

Ok i know its suppose to be Monday monday but who wants to sing of a monday! storms predicted but we will be packing up and hitting the trails today for a little R&R. Course I have been a wake off and on since 3 thanks too hot flash and snoring, oh and a potty break. Potty breaks in the middle of the night in the wilderness is my most unliked event...it is scary and dark, really really dark and I imagine big and little animals waiting to eat me out there.

Had a little impromptu dinner last night filled with laughter and lots and lots of verbage between every one. well almost every one. Mr. I dont like to socialize, well he sort of disappears and got to his computer. But thats alright at least he just disappears gently. But it does make me really appreciate my daughters boy friend who seems to enjoy the talking and laughing and actually joins in. I think she has found a really special young man, and he is really handsome as well.

Times like last night though do make me wonder how my husband and i were attracted to each other for life....I think it was an arranged marriage, Arranged by God. That is the only thing that makes sense at all to me cause we are so so so different and often I keep my mouth shut and dont share with him like I use to when we first married.

Last night the kids (16 -22) were saying uck about the thought of parents kissing or sharing the smile of the night they were conceived, and the love the two feel for each other. Mr. Boy friend speaks up and says he would be thrilled to walk in the room and find his parents kissing. He is sure that it has been a very very long time since they did. that just brought a new element into the conversation, then the other kids were sympathetic to his situation and appreciative of their parents.

LIFE go figger