Harmony with self? Finding the holes and filling them with substance. Sometimes it feels as if no one pays attention to my needs even when I voice them. Then how do you fill that? I speak a little louder or I declutter a space so that I can see a bit clearer and state it more simply.
Why does it bother me that a couple of my kids keep me a specific distance from their lives? I worry that there must be a reason, there must be an activity that they know is not good. It is good that I can step onto a trail if only for a moment of memory to recall the simplicity that is so calming to my heart. There is such a clearness in my perspective with each step on the trail. Placing the foot on the right spot to retain balance or looking out to the view for a breath of beauty.
It seems the only place that I am really at peace is out there, with Bobby and the good earth. Hearing the very subtle tingling of my wind chimes and knowing that he is behind me.
I had a phone call from RC Womens Section, and I quote "Jennifer we have not forgotten you". And all I want to do is ignore it and tell them they may not take up one second of my weekend because that is my trail time. I have NO time during the week either because I use my free time to shape up and clean up for outdoors. Yet my heart yearns for that deep spiritual food that RC offers. Please Lord, help me feel up with your grace.
Wonder if Russell just called to talk? Wasnt that about the nicest conversation we have had in a while...or was he preparing me for something. I never seem to be able to just appreciate them...always a bit suspect of their gentleness.
Ok ....today was very cold when I woke up and it was only 68 in the house...I have got to really search for warm clothing for our camping trip.
When I feel the anxiety or the negativity coming on I just cross the bridge from me to the trails, and I am glad I have pics to help me and a place to yap
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