Some days I cant find any words in my head, absolutely none! And I avoid this place with anything. Just about one year ago I started having really bad panic attacks. The insecurity, the fear, well it was amazing to me how quickly they paralyzed any confidence in self. My goal was to work through them and keep them from shrinking my world. So with a very patient husband I would battle daily, and sometimes hourly to work through them. There were mornings that I would almost purposely trigger one just because the mind amazes me and the ridiculous fear was heart stopping. Why was my mind being so stupid and why was I letting it!
One morning my husband had to leave town for work for an entire week. I was so freaked that I went and bought him a cell phone. He may be the last human on the planet with out a cell! The morning he left, I KNEW without any doubt that I had to do something to keep my mind SO busy. The answer was, kitchen make over!! And I couldnt tell him what I was doing because he is a perfectionist and rarely has positive opinions about anything! This would be a project that would have to be done in 4 days!
Well the "breakfast nook" got completely stripped and painted in four days. I stood on the tallest ladder in the world to reach up to the ceiling. Most days I was up there for at least 8-10 hours.
But it worked! I only had one really bad event and it was because I couldnt get in touch with Mr. Personality!
Slowly I made it thru that winter and moved on into spring. With the warm weather and the sun, my strength returned. And I continued to stay busy.
This past weekend we celebrated a birthday for our daughter. She turned 21 and I finished the freaking kitchen!
It came out great.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny you should mention your daughter's birthday, because the last time I redid a kitchen like that was when my mother convinced me we could get mine painted between the time my husband left for work and when he came back. I had given birth a week before.
thanks, and thanks for coming by. After childbirth ANYTHING is possible! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI read this and your blog "where have I been:. Actually since I am having heart problems an we both are spending our social lives as medical appointment I also realize the moments I've wasted; It is true he has too but I.m accountable for myself only. I have spent more time trying to converse and please a nearly deaf man. But then he wasn't once deaf and where was I???
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