faking? and other random thoughts

I hate the 'holidays'.  for years I was in denial about many things and faked it!  As soon as the leaves are bare and the sky is gray and sun is only a quick visitor i begin my shut down. there is too much pressure to make every freakin' "holiday day" special and perfect. So I always TRIED to make it perfect~ I never buy the right gift cause we never have the right amount of money to make our kids happy.  Einstein rolls into a ball of self pity cause the debt is bigger~ now the kids are all grown and mostly get what ever they want when they want it...so~ 

Decorating is a gift.  putting up the decorations is a bigger gift and that is all i can think of when i start dragging them out is that I have to put them all back up in their boxes.

This damn cold really got me good.  germs bring me down,Ii have no patience to be a patient and when it drags on as long as this one did i begin to prepare myself for never feeling well again. yea, see if that doesn't screw up your mind!  My mind is very fragile but I believe I got it back for a bit longer, maybe

recently my youngest and i watched julie and julia.  I did not expect to like it but i really did. Julie, the main character not to be confused with Julia the cook, wants to be a writer, never finishes anything she starts, challenges herself to cook a dish from julia every day for one year and blog about it!  She becomes famous, pays all her bills and gains the author titleship.

oh, well, wouldnt it be fun to challenge yourself in something like that and be successfull~ but I have very few "great" ideas and even fewer creative ways of sharing them so guess I will just be glad that I may have conquered my bad germs and still have time to loose some weight before my freakin' birthday!