Both of our sons find some really good music, and it really is a collage of music. But some of it just really appeals to me because the words just scream of something real and applicable to life. Russell, most of his music is raw and unpredictable, accoustic, redneck. At least the ones he passes on to me. Chris Knight has lots of songs that really are pretty good themes for any young man's life!
One Saturday Russell called and invited his dad and I to go see CK play in a local tavern. I NEVER SAY NO TO ANY MOMENT WITH ANY OF MY GROWN KIDS...So we went! This was probably the first time I ever felt like he was not embarressed of us as his parents. He let me know there was a song coming that I had to dance with him to...And after a few shots, well he had the courage, the smile, the insistance that I get up and dance to :
Why do I do the things I do
Was I born this way am I a self made fool,
I shoot the lights and curse the dark
He was the one that has pushed the envelope, tested himself in some extreme situations, fallen very hard a couple times. What would have pushed so many (ok at least me) to the bottom to stay!
Some where he found the self respect?, drive?... He show ed courage.
He knows himself so well and knows even better what he wants out of life. There is not a day that I have ever asked him about his day that he has complained about ANYTHING. He simply enjoys each moment of life (sometimes in a very very selfish way)
So many times he has broken my heart as a post 24 yo LOL, and he knows it. But he ends up amazing me with his ability to recover...That is a gift.
He will make a good father, That I do know, but even he says he is too selfish to be married, at least here at this point of life. But I cant help but believe his heart was broken after college, and he moves thru time now not letting things / people get too close.
Now I love this boy of mine, he has taught me ALOT in his 27 years. But we both know he should come with a label : Warning ... will self destruct if desired! So for him to take my hand and insist on taking me, his mom and not his pretty little blonde date, out onto the floor...well it was a healing point of life for me and I hope for him.
It was a way of saying, sorry, I love you and I dont know why I do the things I do...
